My name is Khyla Golea, I am a student attending Humber College School of Media Studies and Information Technology. Let us review the last few years, to approximately 2011. I remember suffering from depression in silence. Since I was only 13 years old, I did not realize anything was “wrong” with me. I would struggle to get out of bed every morning and I would cry in the shower for no apparent reason. On weekends, friends would invite me out and I would have to say, “I am too busy, sorry.” though instead I would lay in bed and sleep. Depressing quotes, trigger warning pictures and videos of people cutting themselves would be scattered all over my Tumblr (personal blog). Do you know what it feels like to fake a smile for four years of your life? To wake up and have good days and bad days without cause?
The dictionary definition of “Depression” is, “feelings of severe despondency and dejection”. Now honestly, do you know what those words mean? Depression affects everyone differently. Sometimes depression does not show obvious symptoms either. One video I find that may aid others in understanding that anybody can be affected by depression is a video presented by BuzzFeed: Depression Isn’t Obvious.
Everybody goes about their lives finding themselves repeating the same things, a constant routine. However, did you know that it has been proven that a daily routine actually has a negative impact on your brain? Consistently doing the same things over and over again day by day actually prevent your brain from thinking “outside of the box”. They get you stuck in a continuous, endless cycle.
Imagine having to do the same thing for four years of your life. As a young student who was going into high school and having no idea of what kind of career path I was going down, it was difficult simply living. As I had said previously, I had a serious problem. I had been self harming the entire time. Self harm is not only someone cutting, it could also be a range starting from starving yourself, throwing up the food you do manage to eat right to the consumption of excessive drugs. Anything that would help make the negative thoughts go away for just a little while. This often results in multiple forms of addictions for many individuals.
After four years of depression, I was approached by one of my high school gym teachers who had noticed the scars on my leg. She made me speak with the school’s guidance councillor who then called a social worker, who then called my mother. Everything simply went down hill from there. Everything that night had happened so fast, it was just a blur.
Enough about me, I am doing my best to get as many people as possible to understand that depression is absolutely everywhere and that it can lead to countless negative outcomes. Keep in mind, I have gone through many therapy sessions to help me be the person that I am right now, of which I’m impeccably proud of. Being able to talk about my past to help others is something I plan on doing, as this is something I could only dream of having in my life whilst going through my depression. These feelings will not last forever; It may only last one more month or even one more year, but I can promise you that it does not last forever and it absolutely will get better. Though you must be the one to take that first step and ask for help.
In conclusion, I am going to provide you with a list of ways on how to deal with depression. People are supposed to be there for you, they are supposed to support you with anything and everything you go through, and they will be there when ever you see fit. Being depressed does not make you out of the ordinary.
Have you ever wondered why “#BellLetsTalk” is for only one day a year? If people really wanted to help others in our society when it came to mental health, would it not be intelligent to promote help for mental health 365 days a year rather than just one? Why are we allowing others to go through so much pain in silence? Everybody’s story should be heard at least once and by someone who is willing to help them.