Danila Sackey is a first year public relations student at Humber College, fall 2015
For the young and ambitious adult female, dating can be seen as not only an added stressor but sometimes impossible to handle. Emotionally we are overwhelmed in needing the relationship to work out but then we are also extremely stressed on just finding a significant other to have a relationship to work with. We need to set our eyes on the prize, you can get what you want in terms of love if you set your value and standards while never backing down on them to accommodate whomever you are beginning to date. No matter how tough and independent your exterior might be when you are single, the real you is that person that shows up in an actual relationship.
In many cases, boys do not like to be pressured into commitments to a significant other, but that does not mean you should go along with it, and accept the fact that he might not be comfortable to commit. Stand your ground. Just because men generally do not like to be asked questions about their jobs, does not mean you should stay quiet and not bring it up. If he hasn’t called you in days, and when he does call asking to come see you, you need to ask him questions or hold him accountable! Look at yourself; pay attention to what exactly you are doing. You are scared and are walking on eggshells again, when you swore to yourself you were going to do better, or at least better than the last time. In the end, you’re not a warrior princess; you end up being that little girl that got tough for a few months when things were hopeless, and you needed an esteem injection.
One of the main reasons why many women find it hard to set their wants in a relationship is because at times we live in a fantasy world. There is a little voice in their heads that sounds like a British fairy godmother and it’s telling them that everything will be fine. Everything will come together in the end, just like Cinderella. You just need to meet the right man and he will appreciate your character and shower you with a level of affection that will have made all the other bad relationships worth it. Sadly enough, this Disney mentality tells you that the lady in distress gets the prince charming 100 percent of the time, saves the day and it has morphed the reality of real life and real dating. In this day and age, society is starting to redefine gender roles and so should you. A man doesn’t determine your role; you do it.
Therefore, if you feel like the guy two seats down from you is gorgeous, you should approach him. Do not, I repeat, do not sit there waiting to be chased. You are just setting yourself up for a perfect opportunity wasted. When you feel like talking to a man, you talk to him whenever you feel like it. Be a woman who initiates; it shows strength and, most importantly, confidence. If you want a strong, equal relationship you must approach the relationship from a position of strength, not timidity. Be the woman you want to be, not what you think he’s expecting. To start your new and improved dating life, here’s what you need to know;
Send a text with something interesting to ask, not just to check in. Be engaging through texts. Show some personality, not just the ability to write, “What are you doing?” Act your age and engage in interesting and intellectual conversation. That’s how you separate yourself from the other six women he could be texting at the same time. If you do end up calling him first, make the first conversations about him, not you. Here are more tips on how to snag a man – http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/confessions/advice/g2633/how-to-get-a-guy-to-like-you/
What is the point of calling you every day if he isn’t trying to take you out? You’re not looking for a text buddy; you’re looking for a boyfriend who will treat you like a woman. Within a week of meeting your amazing self-confident self, the man you are chasing should find an activity that he thinks you will enjoy and ask you on a date. Female power is not about being slutty or flaunting your sexuality. It’s about setting the value of yourself so high that men will have to wonder why you think you deserve special treatment. And the thing about men is that they are obsessed with finding out what’s so special about a girl! If you want a man to respect you, you have to earn it. Be your own strength and progress will begin. You are a strong, confidant and ambition woman, show these traits and you are bound to find the man who can appreciate all the great things you have to offer. It all starts with who you are and you’re thinking. Once you change your thinking when it comes to relationship standards soon after results will follow.
What are you waiting for? Go find your Mr. Right, you can thank me later.