Peter Pan had a point; no one wants to grow up

Mimi Roy is in her first year of college pursuing a diploma in public relations at Humber College She is taking my first year at college as it comes and she is learning how to survive off of Raman noodles.


What is the day that you fear the most? When I asked this question to my friend the other day her answer was, “The day I realize I actually have to grow up”. Her answer fascinated me because in my mind, moving to college, living on my own and moving to the city is what I considered to be grown up. Then I started thinking about the concept of growing up and I realized I still had so much more “growing up” to do and that scared me.

Peter Pan had a point; no one wants to grow up
Peter Pan had a point; no one wants to grow up

I asked myself “Why am I afraid of growing up”? I know this is an inevitable process and in a sense I have already grown up. I have grown up since I was five years old and I have grown up since I was 10 years old. So what will the difference be if I grow up from being 18 to 21 or even when I am 50?

I have come to the conclusion that I am afraid of three main things: responsibility, deeper involvement in society, and judgment of my actions.


 Responsibility

Fear of Responsibility
Fear of Responsibility

I probably shouldn’t be too afraid of this considering I know what my responsibilities are now and I manage them well. So what would the difference be once I am “grown up”? The difference is in the real world I have responsibilities for more than just myself. If I start a family I am responsible for them, especially if I become a mother and I have children. If and when I get a job I am responsible for my work and managers and bosses will be analyzing my work. If my work isn’t up to par then it reflects poorly on me and this brings me to the next fear of growing up.

Judgment

Fear of Judgement
Fear of Judgement

I fear judgment of my abilities and of my work. In the real world there are harsher critics, tougher challenges, and higher expectations. I fear the way I handle these people and things will not be appropriate or will be frowned upon. I think I am afraid of fitting into society’s box of the obedient, average member of society. I don’t want to abide by rules; I don’t play a part simply because it’s the normal way to act. I still want to act like a kid and see things simply and I don’t want to be judged for my actions.

Deeper Involvement in Society

Involvement in society
Involvement in society

Since this time last year I have grown up a lot. I have learned a lot of new and exciting things, but I have also learned that as an adult you have to involve yourself in society. Think about it though, once you are on your own you inevitably dive into the system. You stimulate the economy with the groceries you buy, the gas you pump, and the taxes you pay. You have the right to vote and as a result have to choose whether you will actively involve yourself with politics or not. You also have to start identifying your core values.

Discovering what I value has been a huge leap forward for me. What I have had to learn is that my values will not always match those of my peers. In fact my values might even irk other people and it might even strike debate.

The fact that you actually have to actively be a part of society makes me uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable because I have to learn new things. I touched on learning how to make new friends is a difficult process in my last blog Making Friends: Sometimes Less Is More and just like that was a hard process, so it growing up.

So even though I am scared I know that this is a process. I know everyone around me has gone through it or is currently trying to grow up just like me. I have come to the conclusion that growing up will have its up and downs but you have to come to accept it and the sooner that you do, the easier it will be.

I hope that I can hold off the day I have to truly grow up as long as I can but when it does come, I intend to embrace it wholeheartedly and head on.

So what is the day you fear most? And what do you fear most about growing up? Comment below!

Till the next epiphany,

Mimi

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2 thoughts on “Peter Pan had a point; no one wants to grow up

  1. vonnielocke March 30, 2015 / 10:13 pm

    Mimi Roy’s blog post about the fears of growing up expresses a common feeling amongst adolescents transitioning into adulthood. Issues and responsibilities that once seemed quite distant are suddenly creeping up faster than expected.

    I agree with Roy’s three fears: responsibility, judgement, and deeper involvement in society.

    Firstly, there is a ton of pressure put on adolescents to follow a blueprint or responsibilities created not by nature, but by mankind (well, at least in the
    Western civilization I live in):

    As children, we don’t know better and are considered to be in a ‘learning and development stage’; so if we make mistakes or act in a socially unaccepted manner, it’s seen merely as a learning process. In this stage, we are expected to attend elementary school and graduate.

    As teenagers, we are considered ‘mature’, and when mistakes are made, we are punished because we ‘should have known better’. In this stage, we are expected to attend high school and graduate.

    And then, suddenly, a dump truck full of responsibilities pours down on us and it is our responsibility to attend college or university, graduate, get a well paying job, get married, and start a family.

    We are put into demographics. Demographics that decide for us when it’s time to start pursuing the responsibilities of someone ‘our age’. A good article I found about this is Growing Up Sucks; it is an accurate and honest article about how we really feel about growing up.

    Roy is absolutely correct about judgement. With more responsibilities comes less room for error. Her fears of having to become more involved in society are similar to fears of my own. Here’s an example of one of mine:

    I will be 20 years old this August and I still do not understand taxes or how to do them. This is because as a child, and even as a teenager, I believed that doing taxes was an ‘adult’ thing. Now, as an adult, I must teach myself how to do my own taxes. Looking back, I guess I should have prepared myself; it never hurts to prepare.

    I guess the reality is, I’m an adult with taxes to file, but hey, I’ll be damned if I’m told to put away my Seventeen magazine or turn off my Nintendo 64.
    ———————————————————————————————————————
    Yvonne Locke is a first year student in the Public Relations program at Humber College.
    Follow Yvonne on Twitter: @vonnielocke

    Like

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